NPR-Cincinnati...My Favorite Book-Related Radio Interview

When the NPR producer called me regarding their national series on family size, he was kind in saying "Well, you wrote the book Dr. Singer." NPR is so chill; what a pleasant experience. They give you time to think and time to answer during the interview (and such a distinguished panel of experts-not too shabby). With the TV promotion of my book, all of life was compressed into 3.5 minute segments. I finally realized that the interviewer is going to ask me 3 questions and that's it.

One NPR caller to this show asked....When there are 7 billion people in the world, why have any children? I responded: It is totally your decision; in my entire career spanning over 3 decades I never encouraged couples or suggested, that what they need for their marriage is a child, or another child.

The most asked question of my book: So, Dr. Singer, what really is the perfect family size?  My book has 92 self-test questions that assist couples in making the best decision for themselves. Couples shouldn't ask, What is the ideal number of children to have? They should ask: Are we both ready to have another child now (regardless of gender)?

Click here to enjoy the interview .......and please support your local public radio station.

Kids Make You Happy (Not): More Discussion

"The key to happiness in life is low expectations" (author unknown).
Research that shows Kids don't make you happy does not trouble me in the least. I am happy that my wife and I decided to have kids and we have 4 wonderful children, 2 of whom now have terrific spouses. Click here to listen to Robin Simon, Sociologist at FSU, discussing last summer's Newsweek article on this very topic.

But, have I been a "happy" Dad all day-every day, since becoming a father 29 years ago? Of Course Not.
Do people have children as an antidote to depression? (I hope not)
Do people have children because they look around at the world and think, "Everyone with children....they look so happy"? (I don't think so)

The decision to have children needs to be made knowing that there are rewards for parenting which are deep and fulfilling to be sure. But, one of the rewards, if you asked me, is certainly not automatic happiness. There is abundant happiness in parenting; it's just not 24/7.

So if you're thinking of having kids to bring you happiness, please think again.

Splitting Up to Make Ends Meet?

When you can't sell your home and you have a good job offer elsewhere, what do you do? You and your spouse might consider splitting up for a bit. Welcome to the commuter marriage.

This article on NPR covers some key issues. Census Bureau stats show that the number of people moving from one state to another has dropped 27% last year. As I said in an earlier post, there are certainly challenges in one of these commuter marriages, but I believe it is possible for a strong marriage to endure this; but not for a sustained period of time.

Everyone has a part in the goal of selling the house and ending the commuter marriage. Enlisting the kids to help is a good approach. The biggest challenge is to keep the house clean because potential buyers can stop by at any time. "We're a lot cleaner than we used to be" comments Nannette Dillon who gets her children to pitch in. Her daughter said, "We have to clean up after we have friends over...we had a snow day and all we did was clean." I believe it's an excellent way of teaching children responsibility. Nannette stated that it's not all about the money, "You need to be happy and for us, we're making the decision that our family needs to be together."