Splitting Up to Make Ends Meet?

When you can't sell your home and you have a good job offer elsewhere, what do you do? You and your spouse might consider splitting up for a bit. Welcome to the commuter marriage.

This article on NPR covers some key issues. Census Bureau stats show that the number of people moving from one state to another has dropped 27% last year. As I said in an earlier post, there are certainly challenges in one of these commuter marriages, but I believe it is possible for a strong marriage to endure this; but not for a sustained period of time.

Everyone has a part in the goal of selling the house and ending the commuter marriage. Enlisting the kids to help is a good approach. The biggest challenge is to keep the house clean because potential buyers can stop by at any time. "We're a lot cleaner than we used to be" comments Nannette Dillon who gets her children to pitch in. Her daughter said, "We have to clean up after we have friends over...we had a snow day and all we did was clean." I believe it's an excellent way of teaching children responsibility. Nannette stated that it's not all about the money, "You need to be happy and for us, we're making the decision that our family needs to be together."

Are Commuter Marriages (a temporary necessity) Detrimental to Couples?

The NY Times had an interesting piece recently by J Conlin called "Living Apart for the Paycheck"
The Census Bureau reported in 2006 that 3.6 million married Americans (not including separated couples) were living apart from their spouses. It quotes Prof. David Popenoe, who I've known for many years; he's brilliant. There are certainly challenges in one of these marriages, but I have to say that I believe it is possible for a strong marriage to endure this, but not for a sustained period of time. One of the best points Conlin makes is how the bulk of the responsibilty for the children falls on the at-home mother. She has to be the disciplinarian while her husband comes home from afar and gets to be "Mr. Fun". Nice plug for Skype too (Online Maven take note!). It's a quick and worthwhile read; I recommend it.