Good Questions About Miraculous Births

Infertility doctors are getting better and better at delivering miracles.
A recent piece in the Baltimore Sun titled, Limiting Reproduction asks some excellent questions:
Is it responsible for a woman to bear children regardless of her age and number of babies involved?
Is it ethical for fertility clinics to facilitate a paying customer's pregnancy simply because they know how?

The article (correctly in my view) suggests that it may be time for federal and state government to consider legal rules and boundaries for the fertility industry. Authors Pertman and Cahn describe a 60 year old woman who travelled to India for IVF because Canadian doctors deemed it unethical to treat her.

For my other posts on infertility please click here.

The White House Experiment in Child Rearing

Fathers: Running the U.S. is like running a family.
I like Lisa Belkin's essays. Her piece "Father in Chief" recently appeared in the NY Times. It's because our new President seems to be such a good father that the comparisons are numerous.

"Like governing", Belkin tells us, "parenting is messy".
A good parent must tell the truth; shielding children from reality rarely works and leads to distrust. While pushing his stimulus plan, President Obama said the action was needed to keep a "crisis" from spiraling into a "catastrophe". Truth is good.

A good parent listens, asks questions, hears all views, and then decides. Obama listened and he called it bipartisanship.

A good parent admits mistakes like when Obama admitted that he messed up with several cabinet recommendations.

"Maybe we want to know that Dad can be fallible except when he actually is."

There's A Tremendous Impulse to Altruism Genetically in Mankind

Well isn't that headline good news?

The nation's woes are inspiring people to make generous gestures to acquaintances, employees, and even strangers.

Take 2 minutes to read a terrific piece by Judy Keen in USA Today. Yes, the times we are in are economically miserable, but there are some terrific people out there doing great stuff. Like Scott Haag in Milwaukee, who is offering his 75 workers $2000 toward a new car and $1000 for a used car.

Kids Make You Happy (Not): More Discussion

"The key to happiness in life is low expectations" (author unknown).
Research that shows Kids don't make you happy does not trouble me in the least. I am happy that my wife and I decided to have kids and we have 4 wonderful children, 2 of whom now have terrific spouses. Click here to listen to Robin Simon, Sociologist at FSU, discussing last summer's Newsweek article on this very topic.

But, have I been a "happy" Dad all day-every day, since becoming a father 29 years ago? Of Course Not.
Do people have children as an antidote to depression? (I hope not)
Do people have children because they look around at the world and think, "Everyone with children....they look so happy"? (I don't think so)

The decision to have children needs to be made knowing that there are rewards for parenting which are deep and fulfilling to be sure. But, one of the rewards, if you asked me, is certainly not automatic happiness. There is abundant happiness in parenting; it's just not 24/7.

So if you're thinking of having kids to bring you happiness, please think again.

Shiri is Right; Everything's Bad for You

Overprotective parents and environmental hazards, how do we strike the proper balance?

My friend since childhood Shiri, is fond of saying, "When you think about it, really everything is bad for you." It is true to a certain extent. How do parents make the best choices for their children without becoming overprotective helicopter parents?

Peggy Orenstein wrote a great piece titled, The Toxic Paradox. She cites numerous examples that people panic about: lead in synthetic athletic turf, Bisphenol A in dental sealants, mercury in tuna, microwaving in plastic.....and she raises the question: What, in our time, does "safe" even mean?

There truly are a billion (since billion is the new million) things to worry about because we parents want to protect our children from harm. But along comes the journal Pediatrics in 2004 and explains that jittery parents have more to fear from fire, car accidents, and drowning than from toxic chemical exposure (with the exception of lead that still threatens the health of millions of children).

"You can't raise your kid in a bubble" Orenstein correctly points out. So here are my thoughts: when research is clear and numerous studies point in the same direction, then for example, you stop smoking. You learn to adapt and you change your ways, it's common sense. When we were kids growing up in Florida, going out in the sun for a few hours was beneficial because you received some much needed Vitamin D. Now you can receive much feared skin cancer such as melanoma. So you adapt, you spend less time in the sun and whenever you venture out in summer, use sun screen.

You cannot panic at every research study (coming attractions: do forward facing strollers hinder language development in infants?) but you cannot ignore them either. You have to trust someone. So when you are pregnant, bring your questions to your Ob/Gyn. When you have children, bring your list of "Is this harmful to my child?" to your Pediatrician.

Try to parent from your guts, not just from your brain!