KISSING! Seven Ways It Boosts Your Health

1.    The Most Expressive Gesture

 The first kiss mentioned in the Torah is when Jacob kisses his cousin Rachel, upon seeing her at the well. He expresses his joy and potential interest in her as his wife. A kiss such as that between relatives, wouldn't necessarily be considered a romantic gesture as we would understand it today. Author Josh Foer asks, “Is there a more expressive gesture in the human repertoire than the activity of kissing?”

                                             2.    Kisses Convey Blessings

 As Jews, we kiss the Torah in the synagogue when we take it out of the Holy Ark each week and when we dance with it on the holiday of Simchat Torah. We send an air-kiss when the Torah is raised aloft at the conclusion of the reading of the weekly portion. Many of us kiss the ground at Ben Gurion airport upon arrival to the Holy Land. We also kiss the mezuzah on the door as a prayer for safe travels and we kiss our children when we bless them on Shabbat and holidays. In the secular world, gamblers kiss the dice for good luck.

                                         3.    You Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello

 Not only is a kiss a widely accepted means of greeting someone or bidding farewell to someone, a kiss can be a sign of love, respect, peace, or friendship. It can express affection, greeting, and non-verbal communication. A kiss can be a way to show non-romantic affection between friends and family. In some cultures, kisses are given as a way of saying hello, sometimes on both cheeks.  In fact, zoologists have even noted this behavior in the animal kingdom as well. Snails caress each other with their antennae. Birds touch beaks and chimpanzees even give platonic pecks on the lips. 

4.    Kissing Improves Mental and Physical Health

 Aside from the obvious pleasure of kissing, Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher explained that kissing affects more than just your sense of taste, smell, and touch. It actually boosts your pulse and blood pressure, dilates your pupils, and deepens breathing. Kissing raises levels of oxytocin, the wondrous brain chemical associated with trust and attachment. As an added bonus, kissing reduces cortisol, the stress hormone in our body. Indeed, kissing bombards the brain, and brings pleasure and calmness, while it boosts the immune system. 

5.    Come Together Right Now 

A kiss promotes feelings of bonding and attachment. Kissing is every bit as good as chicken soup as a cure-all for most of your troubles, according to anthropologist, Dr. Vaughn Bryant. Both women and men state that kissing brings them emotionally closer to their spouse. 

6.    Live Long and Prosper 

Whatever its origins, kissing seems to be advantageous. A study conducted during the 1980s found that men who kiss their wives before leaving for work, live five years longer and get into fewer car accidents than those who don’t. They also have higher incomes than married men who don't kiss their wives goodbye. So do yourself a favor and go ahead and pucker up! It does your mind and body good. 

7.    The Mouth Contracts as the Heart Expands 

In closing, kissing is a language all its own that gives us the ability to describe our feelings that are sometimes deeper than words can express. Think of kissing as a contraction of the mouth which is due to the enlarging of the heart. A simple profound act that, interestingly, is of no use to one person, yet it is absolute bliss for two people? A kiss is that which you cannot give without taking, and cannot take without giving.

Dr. Alan Singer has been a marriage therapist in New Jersey and New York since 1980. He has an 80% success rate in saving marriages of couples on the brink of divorce. He is a Certified Discernment Counselor, and serves on the Registry of Marriage-Friendly Therapists and the Beyond Affairs Network. He is an Adjunct Professor for Touro University’s Graduate School of Social Work. His mantra: I’ll be the last person in the room to give up on your marriage. He counsels via Zoom, blogs at FamilyThinking.com, and authored the book, Creating Your Perfect Family Size (Wiley). Married 48 years, he and his wife are the parents of four grown children. He is a frequent presenter at the NEFESH International Conference. His essays are featured in AISH.com, Jerusalem Post, Jewish Link, and the Jewish Press    dralansinger@gmail.com    (732) 572-2707