Thursday, July 17, 2008

Love Never Fails by Robin Fisher (Star Ledger 7/11/08)

Looking toward celebrities as role models for family values? NOT
Click here to read the article in NJ's Star Ledger.

My letter to the editor:

Society would be best off not to look toward celebrities as role models for family values. The most tragic point in Ms. Fisher’s article is the 50% of marriages in the U.S. that end in divorce. One million divorces annually mean 2 million spouses and 1 million children per year. That’s 3 million new individuals each year coming to grips with divorce.

With respect to Mr. Schick, love is NOT all that you need. Spouses need to be committed to the institution of marriage as much as to each other. Second, infidelity does not always mean that a marriage must end. Last, regarding Mrs. Herdje’s comment, “You have to know when to cope, and when it’s time to give it up.” In my 30 years as a Family Therapist (except if there is abuse present) I am the last one in the room to give up on a marriage. Research has shown that 2/3 of American divorces involving children, are of couples in low-conflict marriages. Further, 86% of unhappily married people who stick it out, find that 5 years later, their marriages are happier.

Dr. Alan M. Singer